The issue with maintaining a blog is trying to decide what in the minute is inspiring you enough to write about. As someone who isn’t a writer and not often able to articulate moments very well it is easy to walk through life with pure enjoyment and trying to soak in the sweet moments, but it becomes more difficult for me when I think about how to put these experiences into words. Life is often made up of mundane moments that fit together like a puzzle to collectively create something incredibly special.
These last few months of getting to spend quality time with my people have been something extra special. From new friends to friends that have been present in my life for nearly three decades, I am continuously reminded of how the Lord has been so gracious throughout my life to give me sweet friendships. Every where I turn I am reminded of the beauty that is friendship and how I will never be able to use words to tell my people how thankful I am for them. They have made me who I am; they have helped me become a better listener and a deeper thinker. The people in my circle push me to be a better person and they push me to ask questions in life. Ultimately my friends have shown me Christ in a tangible way throughout my life and have helped me look to him as the true molder and perfecter of my faith and who I am becoming.
As my time in the US begins to wrap up, I am beginning to spend “lasts” with friends. The paradox that we talked about at my training at MTI is that this is hard but it is beautiful. It reminds us that when we are called to move somewhere different or step into something unknown that it will be worth it. The paradox is that life here is good and my friendships are great but I will leave all of that to pursue something the Lord is pushing me into, all with not knowing how it will turn out. This has been a year of trusting and pursuing the heart of the Father, knowing he will give me what I need to step into this next season. As the “chaos bridge” approaches, I can step through it boldly and with confidence in who is holding my hand through the process.
People have begun to consistently ask me “Are you nervous?”. Right now there is a calmness present that I know can only be of the Spirit. One of my favorite spoken word songs by Beautiful Eulogy has a line that says “I’m not there yet so I’m reaching, reaching for a goal: to stand before my King and be speechless then, never again will I question if His grace is sufficient to cover my sin”. I am resting in the fact that his grace is sufficient, he has called me to this work and I am walking in obedience towards him. When I fix my eyes on Jesus, it allows me to walk through the chaos with an uninterrupted focus.
To give you an update, I am sitting around 83% of my monthly budget goals and today confirmed my flight to leave August 10th! Things are getting real. Thank you to everyone for your outpouring of love and support. The Lord has consistently shown he can provide in ways I never imagined. I know where I will be living when I land in Ethiopia and that alone is a huge blessing and I already have several contacts on the ground. Please continue to intercede on my behalf for what the journey of saying good goodbyes looks like over the next 30 days. My church has been going through the book “Invitation to Silence and Solitude” by Ruth Haley Barton and I am learning to rest in the sometimes awkward silence but more than anything learning to truly experience what the Spirit is prompting in my heart. He is good and he is worth it and I will keep on asking him to make me more aware of His Spirit. I will keep asking to see people the way he does and ask for more of his compassion and mercy to give to all those I encounter. James writes about the Sprit’s wisdom fruits and I am asking the Lord to give me more of who he is. He writes in chapter 3, verse 12 – “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Oh, that this would be true of my own life.